It's been two months since I blogged. But its a Saturday morning, I slept in, I've been alone in my apartment for three hours and I'm starting to go crazy.
What better time for introspection and reflection?
A lot has happened in the past two months, and we are now four months away from Ryan and I's wedding. Since my last blog, Ryan and I were officially offered (and accepted) a position that will relocate us to Ohio in July. Roughly a month after we get married. I'm actually crazy excited about all of this. I never used to like adventure, but this year God has transformed my heart and given me a man to adventure with for the rest of my life.
But I'm human. And whats more, I'm a woman. So all of this spins around in my mind pretty much constantly. Choose bridesmaid dresses...look for apartments...flowers?...I wonder what froyo places they have in Ohio...how am I going to manage without having Julia as a roommate?...marriage prep...what the heck I'm getting MARRIED...wait a minute, I'm moving to OHIO?!...I'm hungry...
It's a lot of change. It's a lot of new. Ryan and I are knocking out three major life changes in the next three months: changing jobs, moving and getting married. And in a spirit of realism, people have been very quick to point out that this will not be easy. Heck, Ryan and I are going to work together every day, live in a new place where we don't know a whole lot of people (in a city I've never even been in) while figuring out this whole vocation called marriage.
Yeah...it's going to be hard. I'll be the first person to admit that. And I would be terrified...except that I'm doing it with Ryan.
I can't know for sure, because it hasn't happened yet. But my guess is that the weeks leading up to the wedding will be a tad nuts. Just picturing all the "to-do's" makes me want to hide under my bed until further notice. But when I picture that moment when I'll walk down the aisle and see my groom waiting for me...I suddenly have all the strength and courage I need for all the logistics that will lead to that day.
I've never been to the place that will be my home in six months. I don't even know what grocery stores and gas stations they have there! But when I start to worry and wonder I hear Ryan's voice in my head saying, "We're going to figure this out together." TOGETHER. As husband and wife we will pioneer in this new city, new job and yet-to-be-determined new home.
You guys...I LOVE this man. But we wont be doing this on our own either. Because our God is faithful, and He has an incredible plan for us. A year ago Ryan and I weren't even dating yet. God knows what He's doing, and every day I'm learning to trust Him more.
Everyone wants to hear the details...what our wedding colors are, if I have my wedding dress, where we will live, when we'll come back to visit. It's exciting, and I'm so incredibly blessed to have so many people in my life who want to be a part of these exciting changes. But it's also the tiniest bit lonely.
A few weeks ago (on a day that I was feeling very overwhelmed) someone looked me straight in the eyes and asked, "Catherine, what are you most EXCITED about in moving to Ohio?" and I almost started crying. Because she wanted to know how I felt about all this. She genuinely wanted to hear from my heart, and not from my to-do list. And THAT has been one of the biggest ways I have been cared for in all of this. By a fiance who knows when I need to set the details aside and just BE. By friends who ask how I'm doing and let me share in their lives, as chaotic as mine is.
I gave up "easy" when I decided to follow Christ. I jumped head first into change and adventure when Ryan asked me to marry him and I said yes. I KNOW this is going to be challenging.
But I'm excited. I can't wait. Because I'm not doing this alone. Because the best things in life aren't easy. And there is a ring on my finger and a song in my heart that daily reminds me how well I am loved.
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam,
Catherine
