Deserving of Love

Every Tuesday night I have an adoration hour at the parish near my house. I committed to this hour last Lent, because I felt like I needed more focus and discipline in my week. Probably one of the best Lenten decisions I've ever made, because I think I need more focus now than I did back in March. 

I'm going to be honest, sometimes I'm more focused than others. But hey, sometimes I'm really tired. Or there are birds playing outside the windows (seriously, all the walls are glass. It's like a distraction waiting to happen). But on a serious note, sometimes its a lot easier for me to enter into prayer than others.

Tonight, it was easy. The chapel was pretty dark with only a few lights shining on the Eucharist as the sun set. There were only a few other people in the chapel with me. It was still. It was quiet.

I said a rosary, and then I intended to reflect on the daily readings. But instead, I pondered something that spontaneously popped up in my mind.

Why do I love God?

No...but really. There is an awful lot of "love" in my life right now, what with being engaged and all. And I think and pray a lot about it. How to love, why we love, what love consists of. It's a lot to pray about. But why do I love God?

Because He is worthy of love.

One of (what I consider to be) the most memorable lines I ever said in a talk I gave to young people was, "God loved us first. You can't beat Him to the punch." Seriously. Our love for God is and must be a response. We can initiate it. We can't even begin to come close to matching it. Our love for God is a response. 

He is the One who loved me into existence, cares for me at every minute of my life, and will never cease in His love for me. And growing up in a strong Catholic family, I've always known that. He is worthy and deserving of my love. My love for Him is a gift in return for a gift so much greater.

When I first started truly living out my faith, I loved God because I realized Who He Is and what He has done for me. And He is deserving of my love. Then I grew to know Him more, and in knowing Him I grew to love Him more. 

Okay.

So...why do I love the people in my life?

Well...because they are also worthy of my love.

But hold on. It's different. They didn't create me. They don't really specifically care for my needs. And their love can definitely fail...because it isn't perfect like God's love is. So this love is obviously different. Of course I desire to show love to everyone that I meet, because they are each deserving of love. But what about falling in love?

When I started falling in love with my fiancé it wasn't because I realized my need for him or my lack without him. It was because I started to get to know him. And in knowing him, I grew to love him more. 

Love is a choice. Love is a response. 

My love for God is a response to Who He Is. And so is my love for my fiancé, or  for my closest friends or my family. My love for them is a response to who they are and the goodness that each of them has been created with. Because they are all deserving of love.

And I am deserving of love. By virtue of the fact that I am loved by Love Himself.

......

I'm going to be honest, this whole blog post isn't in any way, shape or form a complete thought. But I'm marveling at the complexity and beauty of Love. 

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam,
Catherine